To the individual who backed their car into my Dodge Ramcharger, YOU SUCK!
I know it's not in the spirit of Christmas to tell someone they suck, but bashing your car into my truck and then driving off isn't exactly the thing an honorable person would do. There were witnesses, you know. In fact, you might have seen them as they were running out to you to try to stop you from fleeing the scene. Thank God for my neighbors. We have a good description of your vehicle, part of your your license plate number, and yourself. From what I hear, your car didn't fair too well either. My neighbor across the street told me that your trunk was curled up and your bumper was dragging on the ground. You must have hit my truck pretty hard when you were backing up because part of your tail light lens ended up on top of the hood of my truck. Fortunately, my truck didn't receive much in the way of real damage; just a bent bumper, a scratch of paint on the fender, some damage to the grill surround and a cracked headlight bezel is all my truck endured. I've done worse damage on the trail.
Now, as inconvenient as it is to have some superficial damage done to my truck, I'm glad to know your car is most likely a total loss. Serves you right for being a douchebag! You probably didn't have insurance anyway, or you might have stopped and left a note, or tried to find the owner (me). Or maybe you have a warrant for your arrest and didn't want to get caught because you knew that I would call the police and you'd be making your acquaintence with Bubba right about now. Maybe you were drunk. Either way, you're a piece of shit and you are very lucky I didn't see you do this. Otherwise I'd be all over you like white on rice.
I doubt I will ever see you, but rest assured that if I do, your ass is going to jail! Should the police find your car (yes, I filed a report and they were able to get a sample of your car's paint, which you left on my bumper), you can be certain that I will press charges against you for the inconvenience you caused me. Your life is probably already in shambles, so I won't feel guilty about cramming the full extent of the law right up your ass!